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Man up; Strip down

How would you define masculinity?

I think that it really depends on the person. I feel like society has it’s perception of masculinity; a guy has to be a certain height or a certain build, but I think the definition for me would be how you are as a person, how you are to your children and your family, the way that you treat people that you surround yourself with or interact with. Today, I don’t think that there’s a 100% way to be masculine like there was years ago.

If you had to describe to someone what a masculine person looked like, how would you do it?

Physical appearance? Traditionally, beard, broad shoulders, kind of outdoorsman-type look, someone who works with their hands a lot. That’s my perception of masculine physical traits.

BASED ON YOUR DEFINITION OF MASCULINITY, DO YOU FEEL THAT THE PEOPLE YOU DATE SHARE THAT SAME DEFINITION. IF NOT, HOW DOES IT DIFFER?

Yeah, I think so. I think that they would consider me masculine as far as people’s perceptions of what it might be as far as being muscular or fit. I train Jiu Jitsu, which I think a lot of people would consider masculine until you actually do it. The perception is just that it’s fighting. I played soccer my whole life and I don’t think that that’s considered as masculine to a lot of people compared to, say, Football. What it did do is help me stay fit my whole life, so I think that that can coincide with a lot of people’s perception of masculine as well.

Considering this description, how do you feel your body compares? Does this comparison influence how you feel about your body?

I definitely don’t have broad shoulders. I’m able to work with my hands and do all the outdoors stuff: camping, mountain biking, snowboarding. I used to work in trades, doing construction, but times have changed. There isn’t aren’t as many jobs that you would depend on as far as being outside, like farming or cattle ranching. That’s kind of gone by the wayside.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR RACE OR ETHNICITY IMPACTS YOUR CONCEPTS OR UNDERSTANDING OF MASCULINITY? HOW SO?

Yeah. I grew up in a hispanic neighborhood and I think that you have to appear to be or act more masculine than you would in the suburbs. I think it’s cultural. Being around minorities my whole life, it’s just a different mindset. A different race or culture, their idea of masculine is different from what mine would be as a white male.

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS SEXIEST ABOUT YOURSELF?

Physically, I would have to say my body in general because I’m fit. But I think that what people find most attractive about me is the way that I treat people. Like for example, when I had a roommate, women found him attractive. So they would be physically drawn to him, but if they got to know us both they’d be drawn to me because of personality or being witty, things like that.

WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ON THE MOST?

Probably my work ethic and how hard I train. I don’t really get complimented on my physical appearance much, if at all.

If you’re currently dating, do you feel like your appearance helps or hinders in finding dates?

Yeah, I do think that my appearance would help just because, again, going back to being fit. I think it’s human nature for people to, whether they know it or not, kind of the natural selection process, usually people are more attracted to someone who is more fit. In general.

What parts of your body are you really comfortable with or really appreciate? And why?

I’m actually really comfortable with every part. I’ve never been shy about being naked or having any sort of reservations about any part of my body.

Compare those parts of your body with parts of your body that you’re less sure about; parts that maybe affect the way you get ready for the day, i.e. getting dressed, maintenance, personal hygiene, etc. Stuff that maybe you’re self conscious about other people noticing because these are parts of your body that compromise your sense of your own sexiness or appeal.

I guess it’s just I’ve never really cared too much. On the other hand, I haven’t had problems with my body, either. I haven’t had any physical issues, like a thyroid issue that might cause weight gain. As a small kid, looking at old pictures at my mom’s house, I always had a 6 pack as a small kid. So I haven’t had to experience what other people may have had to go through. So I guess I don’t know how that feels, but I can also appreciate other people’s reservations about their body, I’ve just never had to experience it.

Have you ever felt that society pressures you to look or act in certain ways? If so, how?

Yes. I do think that society does pressure people to act or look a certain way. Whether it’s the way they dress or the brand of clothes they wear. When you see people out— I like to people watch— these reality shows, they call it reality but it’s really not. It just seems fake, but people take that as reality and then act that way as if it’s okay not realizing there’s a benefit of editing. Also, these shows are geared toward the dramatic, and that’s not necessarily reality either, but people take it as it is and think it’s okay to be extra dramatic.

WHAT DO CHARGED TERMS LIKE “PATRIARCHY” OR “PRIVILEGE” MAKE YOU FEEL? WHY DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY?

So, patriarchy, I don’t necessarily think that our society is like that as much anymore. Of course there’s influential families in our government and I’m sure that they operate by that sort of creed, but as far as everyday life I think that people are more free thinking and liberal now and patriarchy just doesn’t work. However, I do think that there are certain aspects of it that may work, I don’t know what those are— i don’t have the answers— but I do think that, fundamentally, we as a society are missing some things. There isn’t as much structure anymore. I think that, especially with kids, there needs to be more structure. Patriarchy though? I don’t think that’s the answer.

Privilege, I guess I just have one thing in my mind as far as privilege goes, and it coincides with patriarchy. The kids that come from that sort of environment, they seem privileged to me. They don’t have to endure a struggle, they don’t have to really fight for anything, therefore they don’t appreciate anything. And to me, that’s privilege. And that can be anyone. I think that if you don’t have some sort of sense of responsibility and work for some things, then you don’t appreciate and understand the struggle that other people have to go through, and for me that’s privilege.